The Convergence Project

Horns of a Dilemma

2007-11-04T22:16:00.000-08:00

Well, unfortunately, Convergence has not gotten the outpouring of love and sparklez and huggelz that I expected it to get. I could go back and give everyone a redux of my rejection letters thus far, but they run the gamut from self-congratulatory ("You're rejected! Now let's talk about me, blah blah blah blee bloo blah blah"), to the robotic ("Dear Author, For reasons that may or may not have to do with the work, we have decided that this is not a fit, though we won't tell you why. Opinions vary, best of luck"), to the somewhat bitchy ("Dear Author, I WOULD use the title of the work, but I can't be arsed to find it in your query, especially since I won't be asking for any more info."). That's them, in a pretty little nutshell.

Now that I've gotten some distance on Convergence, though, I'm inclined to agree with them. It's not hard scifi, it's not high fantasy, and it's kind of a quirky little book to have to sell. I could go hardcore and try to really push it, but I'm not necessarily sure if Convergence is the right project for my first publication, and if the market is ready for this sort of thing.

Also, I've had another idea that I've started exploring... a combination of an old idea that never got off the ground, and a new idea that surfaced during my cough suppressant induced nightmares. I'm not sure if this one is right either, but I hope it could be.

I sometimes wish I could write something typical, about witches, elves, and epic wars. I want to write something different, that doesn't read like something you could pick up in the airport. I'm not looking for Art, I'm just trying to put something newish out there.

Urgh.

2007-10-26T16:30:00.000-07:00

I am annoyed and disappointed in myself.

Work this week sucked, which is never a good thing. I've been sick all week, with an odd headache/nausea/random body ache/gagging for no reason/exhaustion/insomnia combo. One of these is not good, since my job relies heavily on physical labor. Lots of lifting, climbing, and carrying occur in my daily life. Therefore, ALL of these is especially not good, and it's given me an extraordinarily short fuse, because I just honestly feel. so. bad. I just want to say to everyone that stops me while I'm in the middle of something, "WHAT do you WANT from ME?! WHAAAAAAAT? WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!" I also accidentally hurt my hand while carrying a vase on Monday, so that kind of shaded the rest of my week.

And, since this is my writing blog, here comes the part where I complain about getting published.

After my tally this week, I still have 7 (or possibly 6? I don't really want to count my failures right now, and 7 sounds right) outstanding unanswered query letters. I know agents are busy busy people and they have TONS of stuff to slog through, but it's kind of like being unemployed and waiting to hear about outstanding applications and resumes. Some days, you just want to walk out to an open space and shout, "I NEED a JOB! ANY JOB! Screw my Masters' in Biochemical Engineering, I'll work at the Good Burger before I spend another day LOOKING for a JOB!!!!"

It's like that with me right now, except with the word "agent" instead of "job", "standards" instead of "Masters'", and "that agent that managed to sell the biggest piece of shit fantasy novel in existence, and then managed to sell the rest of that series".

Not even my brother's hysterical blog about life in Korea or DragonFable can soothe my ruffled feathers. I need a big drink.

Oh, and photography session on Sunday, for my as-yet-nonexistent website.

Query Process

2007-10-25T17:38:00.000-07:00

Total queries sent: 12 (all email)

Total rejections: 5

Letters beginning "Dear Author": 1

You know you've made an impression when the agent can't even remember your name in the time it takes between reading it at the end of an email and to open a generic template in Outlook. Approximately three seconds. Ouch.

Letters beginning "Dear Writer": 1

Even worse than "Dear Author," this might as well read "Dear Speck of Dust Beneath Contempt"

Letters beginning "Dear Kathryn": 2

Not as bad as the above, as both got my name's spelling right at least. However, writers are supposed to address agents as Mr or Ms Lastname, but somehow, agents are immediately on a first name basis with authors? It kind of rubs me the wrong way a little, as I don't think I'm familiar enough with anyone in the publishing industry to let them call me by my first name. I wish I could have been trying this in Japan, where I'd merely be DeWoskin-san, but that would be weird in America.

I think I'm off on a running start! I've had my manuscript read by some really awesome people, and it's close to where it needs to be. But, sadly, I only have two models for success in publishing. One is my own personal goddess, J.K. Rowling, who only sent her book off to two agents, and got snapped up immediately. The other is Stephen King, who apparently had over 600 rejection letters. I doubt there is anyone in the English-speaking world who would be puzzled when you say either of those names, but it's an odd set of extremes there.

HUZZAH!

2007-10-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

The formatting, she is complete! And it was a LOT harder than everyone thinks.

For those of you who might care, take a look at how I write paragraphs in this blog. I don't indent, and I like to space out the paragraphs. Otherwise, it looks a little rushed to me, like you're trying to cram all the information possible in three inches. It's uncomfortable for me.

But, I had to change it, thanks to some agent blogs warning me about it. Now, there is no extraneous space. I think.

Also, I don't put chapter breaks in it as I write. There are natural breaks that I prefer to follow. And there are good points in which to break. I don't like to break up the flow of the work. Also, I get kind of, "I have to start this chapter! Now what the hell are they doing?!"

Unfortunately, though, that means that after I'm done writing and editing, I have to go through, muttering to myself, "Where the eff am I going to make these breaks?!" And then having to rework... and then having to start over... gah. But it's better than the alternative.

The monster rings in at 238 pages in double-spaced twelve-point Times New Roman. Now I can say that. I can't believe I've gotten this far.

WHERE'S MY PUBLISHING CONTRACT?!

Onward!

2007-10-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

It is now time for selling!

I have finished my final final final edit, and in accordance with the Prophecies, I have redoubled my querying.

Also, I have a super-awesome announcement to make. I'm going to be launching my website soon! I'm taking some better pictures for it, and there will be a lot more info than I've shared here. Unfortunately, I'm a bit worried about the process... my photographer has mentioned hats, flash, and kitsch. I don't do any of the three really... I do hoods, black, and quirk. I'm hoping that there will not be any follow up questions in regards to the "flash". Otherwise, that's going to be REALLy awkward.

Work is going to be interesting in the next few weeks... I have about two weeks of quiet, and then two weeks of a store opening. Also, my big brother is coming in from Korea in February, and I'm totally excited! Hopefully I'll be able to carve out enough book-time in the process... I really am committing to seeing this end up in bookstores.

Tich tock...

2007-10-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

Now, we play the Waiting Game.

...

Though, in the words of a great 20th century philosopher, "The waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!"

I like to believe that I am a decent writer and a reasonably good researcher. I read somewhere that most of what agents receive in their query piles are completely wrong. Even though Convergence is an odd novel (it's kind of Final Fantasy-ish, blending scifi and fantasy themes), and definitely geared towards young adult readers (though I hope it crosses the YA/adult boundary!), I have only submitted to agents that sell scifi, fantasy, young adult, or a combination of any of the three. If they haven't expressed an interest in any of those three on a website or listing, I will not send it to them.

I have written a professional, clear, and above all, polite query letter, detailing the world, the plot and the interpersonal squabbles between the main characters, as well as my own qualifications.

Why?

Because I actually want to be taken seriously by the agents that read my work. I actually want to publish this book. I actually give a poop about my potential writing career. I want to show agents out there that I am a professional, I will be just as professional as a client, and I am willing to work, promote, and bust my butt to make this book a success. I have a promotional plan in mind (going huge locally, as I'm in a major metropolitan area... readings at libraries and bookstores, booking things on local radio, sending the book to all the local papers, whoring myself on MySpace on a friend spree), and I am here to WORK.

Frankly, it asses me to tears that people will waste an agent's time. Other writers, beware... do your homework. The time that an agent has to use to issue a rejection because you are either sending to the wrong agency or completely unprofessional is time that gets taken away from someone that did do her research and is professional.

It also doesn't help that I'm bad when it comes to delaying gratification, and I also have tendencies towards impatience. Half of me wants to wail, "WHY WHY WHY JUST GET BACK TO ME JUST SAY NO!" The other half of me says, "SHUT UP they're busy!" And a rare but still present third half of me clears its throat and asks, "Don't you have to go to your day job?"

Ouch...

2007-09-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

Reading about fantastic deals for other people right now is like being poked by a largeish needle. It's not quite as painful as a knife in the gullet, but there are still twinges.

Ouch. There it goes again.

For those of you that are not in the writing business, there is a surprising amount of selling involved in the process of getting a book from the author's computer to the shelves of your local bookstore.

Unfortunately for me, I have had enough jobs in commission sales (two) to know that I am BAD at sales! This is much like the glorified telemarketing job I had at BigWebsite.com, selling obscure portions of BigWebsite.com's services to various places on the East Coast. Lots of "no, we're not interested." Lots of voicemails never returned. But the few (two) yeses I got were awesome.

I had a lot more yeses at FurnitureCo, when I was selling furniture (which also led to my current job), but that was mostly due to the fact that people were coming into my store so I could sell them furniture... not quite as difficult as harrassing people via telephone, though there was some of that involved as well.

I feel like a sales rep again. I have a very limited number of sources I can use to pull from, I have a relatively limited amount of resources to use, and I'm navigating a potential MINEFIELD, almost like the court of Louis XIV, where one misstep can mean imprisonment, death, or worse... social pariah-dom*. And the worst part of my sales process is that I don't even know if I have a sellable product. I believe my manuscript is great, but I don't know if it's great in the way that an agent, an editor, or a marketplace would think it is.

This is where my selling comes in... I have to find one person, somewhere, out there, that believes in Convergence. I also have a rather uncomfortable battle-stress condition when it comes to selling, thanks to being verbally abused, belittled, and bullied into gibbering uselessness for six months at FurnitureCo. I dont' know if I physically have it left in me to sell to someone I don't know. That makes me panic a little for ten minutes every time I query an author. But, I want to get the book published more than I want to avoid networking (which also confounds me on a fundamental level), so I will be writing my queries while trying not to cry.

* = If an agent should come across this statement and take offense, I hope you know that I do not mean that I hate you. I don't. I know that your work presents its own sets of challenges and difficulties, and I know that you have to love what you do to do it. However, for those of us who did not end up Carrie Bradshaw-ing our way into a book deal, it is SCARY out there, from querying agents all the way to, I imagine, writing the second as the royalty checks are flowing in. Or not, which is worse.

Lazy Author!

2007-09-24T22:41:00.000-07:00

Oy. I have been very lax in posting here.

A) As you all (well, all three of you) know, I have a day job. I work about a 50-hour week, depending on how many crazy requests my boss makes. I'm usually fine with doing what needs to be done, though it cuts into social time, Me Time, writing and editing time, and blogging time. Blogging time goes first, sorry, as it's nice, but it's not my liveblood. I don't go home thinking to myself, "Oh my Xenu, I HAVE TO BLOG THIS!" I LIKE blogging, but there are only 168 hours in the day... 118 after work, 68 after work and sleep... which leaves the rest of that time for eating, bathing, social life, the bathroom, etc.

B) I have also been tearing my FREAKING hair out over edits. Writing is tough. Editing is worse, because I believe myself to be the next C.S. Lewis, except female, and American, and living in the 21st century. Everything makes perfect sense in my head. it's hard when I read everything, and I see everything else that I meant by that sentence. But I try to edit as objectively as I can, though it's very difficult.

C) I'm also very nervous about the querying process. What I want is an agent that will be someone who believes in my project, who wants to see it succeed, who wants to be in it for the long haul, from Convergence to Divergence to Subvergence to all the other 'vergences in my head, and will work with me to make this a success.

Unfortunately, I have found some agents that are working with incredible projects, who have a huge fire for their clients, and are absolutely in love with what they are working with. I wish for someone to feel that way about my humble little script. The Very Small DW within the Relatively Adult-Sized DW wants to look at those with puppy dog eyes, and ask in a heartbroken voice, "When's my turn?" You see, the Very Small DW is merely a child inside, and she gets frightened.

But the Relatively Adult-Sized DW around the Very Small DW has to pull up her bootstraps, pat the Very Small DW on the head, and say, "I'm working on it, darling." The Relatively Adult-Sized DW is an adult, and she has learned things that the Very Small DW hasn't yet, things like patience, perserverance, and the value of hard work. Though it can hurt my heart a bit to get rejected, I have to know that I might be one of those projects that lights a fire in someone else.

Eep!

2007-09-09T17:17:00.001-07:00

Well, I am not quite finished with my editing or my chapter-breaking, though I'm sure I can crank that out in a few hours/days/whatever. Honestly, if I can write a complete novel in less than three months, and have it be not crap? I can totally edit and fix in a week.

But I sent out my first query letter today! I'm excited, and a little scared, but I didn't graduate with a degree in Creative Writing for nothing. I can at least write a letter, y'know.

Phase 2 of my Evil Plan!

2007-08-27T21:23:00.000-07:00

Muahahahahahahaha!

I have finished writing, and now I'm in the editing process!

I am doing a fine-tuning sweep, and then I'll read it again, and see if I like what's going on there. Hopefully, I'll also get a little more input here and there.

I've also started reading a few agent blogs, just to figure out what I can expect for Phase 3, which is submission. Phase 4 is profit.

It has been a long, strange trip, ladies and gentlemen. Or, well, not so much long as kind of long, and as strange as it gets in the DW House Family Room. But then again, that's pretty darn strange.

Milestone Post!

2007-08-07T20:17:00.000-07:00

I hit about 48,000 words today, which will make this the 80% mark! I only have 20% of the book left to write, and I need to start working on the end!

Ugh!

2007-08-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

I am running into a lot of difficulty now that I'm on the last chapter.

It's not coming out, I'm not sure how to end it, and nobody is LISTENING, which is the most annoying thing in the world!

I just wish someone would let me vent about how difficult this is for me, without offering any suggestions, or trying to get me to do something about it. I just want to get things done.

All right, time to sleep.

The End: A Beginning...

2007-07-31T22:27:00.000-07:00

I started the last section of the book today.

Which means the second section was finished yesterday.

I'm working right on schedule... I'm very happy with my work so far.

Whoops...

2007-07-29T22:09:00.000-07:00

I just haven't been motivated to write this weekend.

I think it's because I'm running into Conclusion Anxiety. I don't really LOVE my execution of my work, and once it comes to the end, that means it's time for editing, and therefore there has to be a certain confrontation of the imperfections of my work. It's not perfect, and I wouldn't call it great, or even a masterpiece, no matter how much I want it to be. It's depressing, to be completely honest.

I just hope that it's something workable, sellable, and above all, profitable for me. I've poured two solid months into this project already, and I'd hate it to be for nothing.

Keep good thoughts for me.

I'm on my way.

2007-07-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

Yes folks, I am coming along right on track.

Part One of the first book of The Convergence Project is finished! It's almost 100 pages by itself, and I haven't even divided it into chapters yet. That comes after I fine-tooth comb it and split it into little pieces.

This weekend, I'll likely finish Part Two, and then start on Part Three.... then I edit, then I send it off to people that will hopefully take very good care of my baby.

Halfway Point!

2007-07-22T21:14:00.000-07:00

I have gotten to just slightly over the halfway point for the first book in the Convergence Project!

Now, it's about 130 pages, a bit over 30,000 words. I had to take a little while off, for various personal reasons... my birthday was July 19, and there were a few other events that happened around that time that cut directly into my writing time.

Now I'm moving back into that space, and getting it done as best I can. Yay! The end is near!

Blazing Through Part 1

2007-07-15T21:02:00.000-07:00

Wow.

I originally started Part 1 in order to complete Part 2, as it made a lot more sense to get that part of the book done, before I wrote myself into a trap in Part 2. Both parts are different... part 1 follows the male lead, and part 2 follows the female lead. Both end where the leads are about to meet.

Then the third part is where they find out exactly what they need to do, in order to move to their next level, and then we'll see how well they accomplish that.

But anyway, the milestone today is that I am exactly halfway through Part 1.

I'm afraid this is going to need a lot more editing than I can give it, I'm worried that I might not be able to find someone to help me sell it after I fix it up, and I'm worried that all my effort will go for naught. But, I've been able to put all those doubts behind myself when I'm writing. I don't bother worrying, I leave as much of that off the page as I can.

I believe in yesterday.

2007-07-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I reached 20,000 words. I would have blogged this, but unfortunately, I had no Internet last night. Thankfully, though, the rest of the Mac was functioning perfectly, so I was easily able to pass that milestone. The next milestone is 30,000, and I'll be getting there in about a week. I'm trying to work 2,000 words into my schedule on the weekends.

I am incredibly proud of myself. This is the first time I've been able to write a third of a real book. I truly believe that this, much like all other creative processes, is not so much about creating, it's a journey of discovery. Convergence is not something I'm making up, I am truly transcribing it. This probably sounds terribly pretentious, but it's also completely true. The story almost doesn't need me at all. But, to be completely honest, it needs some skill, and some refinement, to bring out the little hidden gems in the story.

I'm surprised that I've come this far, and the rest that I have to go doesn't look quite as daunting as it might have three months ago. I don't feel like I have to try to write, it just comes out. It's likely because I've been writing for about a month now, steadily, almost every single day, and I'm really feeling like I've accomplished a whole lot in a short time. I'm very proud of myself, and I'm very excited to share it. I wish there was a way to not go to work and bust out the rest of the book entirely (all 38K of it!). Unfortunately, I can't. I'm definitely keeping my day job for awhile.

Fortunately, I genuinely love my day job, and I'm very happy how that's going as well.

"Guys like us don't just fall out of the sky, y'know!"

2007-07-09T19:49:00.000-07:00

Wow.

Last post, I was worrying about finding someone to help being an editor.

I suppose, ask and ye shall receive? The power of the blogosphere, I suppose. It's surprising to me how the internet as rainmaker works sometimes. That's not why I'm writing this, but I'd have to be silly to not be thankful that someone took an interest in my project and wants to hook up in a mutually beneficial business arrangement. Plus I have a new Internet best friend, seriously.

I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT GETTING AN AGENT, THOUGH. HMM. WHAT OH WHAT CAN I DO TO FIND ONE? THEY DON'T JUST FALL OUT OF THE SKY....

Sorry, I couldn't help it. Who knows what a literary agent might come across on the Internet, though.

In other news, I had to pause on the female lead part, and I moved on to the male lead part for now. Unfortunately for me, in roder for there to be a convergence, I need to know where they are, in order to come together.

Moving Right Along!

2007-07-08T22:08:00.000-07:00

I am 80% finished with the first part of the first book of the Convergence project, which means I am over 25% (I am at 16K out of 20K for this portion, and 60K for the full novel).

I have it divided into the following... first the male lead will learn of his powers, and then go on to discover the world that he had been sequestered in. Then, the female lead, who is already a part of the world, will discover herself. Then, they will all converge (which will be a theme in this series, hence the working title...) and work towards their goal.

Simple sketch, but it's very hard to have a hard limit of 20K. I'm not sure if I can fit some things into that space, and I'm not sure I can stretch things past that space.

I'm also looking to find an editor for the raw manuscript. I don't know anyone that can edit up to or beyond my skill, and it can be exceedingly difficult to edit one's own work. I don't find it very difficult, but we'll see how it goes.

There's going to be another month and a half to this. It might be September before it's totally done, October before it's edited, and November before it's sent out. And then, I have no idea how long it will take to get an agent to pick up Convergence, and then a publisher.

First, some frivolity.

2007-07-05T19:27:00.001-07:00

There's just a little something so you can see who I am while I'm typing this... of course, The Convergence Project is proudly made by a Mac, and I'm in my house while I'm writing, and sadly, I have not gotten my way in papering the walls with alchemical charts.

As an update, I broke 12,000 words yesterday (I'm now somehow over 13k) and am therefore approximately one-fifth, or twenty percent of the way through already. I've been taking occasional breaks here and there, just to make sure I don't burn out on the novels of Convergence. I owe it to this world to tell the story in the best possible way, and just writing to fill space is not how I want to do this.

The Step Beyond This

2007-07-01T18:47:00.000-07:00

I'm trying very hard to take this one day at a time, one moment at a time, one word and one small milestone at a time. Small bits and pieces. As one man I have zero respect for says, "Little drops of water make up a mighty ocean".

But someone I regard highly sent me somethinbg today... a link to a literary agent of someone very, very famous for doing what I'm doing now. First of all, I don't know if I'm comfortable with an overseas agency. Second, I don't know what kind of agency to go with, period. Big, small, local to Chicago, based in New York, someone that will hold my hand, someone that will just sell... I'm not sure what I would prefer ina publisher yet. And I want to get my full manuscript done before I get a proposal sent off.

We'll see. I'm not ready to work on this yet. I'm having enough on my plate with the writing.

Even God Rested

2007-06-29T19:33:00.001-07:00

I am in no way comparing myself to God. I'm just a worker bee by day, and a writer at night. But everyone needs a day off... and it seems that Friday nights are the worst for me. I'm out of the house between 45 and 55 hours a week at work and traveling, and while that's not the worst it could be, it's still hard to drain the creativity out of myself at a day job all week, and then switch gears and use another part of my creativity every day.

Since I'm off on Saturday and Sunday, I figure that if I wirte more on Saturday and Sunday (between 1500 and 2000 words, I estimate), I can afford to leave Friday for resting time.

I want to get the Convergence Project off the ground, but I don't want to hate it while I do it. I want this to be something I can enjoy, and feel good about myself. So, from now on, I will be resting from my writing on Friday nights.

The Beginning of The Beginning.

2007-06-28T22:41:00.001-07:00

Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the beginning of the Convergence Project! You may wonder what the Convergence Project is... well, that's the working title of a scifi/fantasy trilogy I, your humble lady authoress DW, am in the process of writing. Later on will be editing, and then there will be the publishing if all goes according to my master plan.

This is going to be my process log, where I will be recording how the project is going from the general beginning of the first novel, through the entire process of my artwork. My triumphs, my frustrations, my failings, my whoopses...

I'm going to discuss a little more about myself first, so you know the kind of person that wants to write a scifi/fantasy novel. I was born in Chicago in 1982, and as soon as my older brother taught me to read, I fell in love with the written word. I graduated with a B.A. in Creative Writing in 2004 at the University of Illinois. From there, I moved to Tottori, Japan in order to teach English. I very briefly wrote and drew a webcomic, and at the point that this blog starts, I work as a fake-room-setter-upper-in-the-store in the furniture business. With all these credentials, however, I do not promise that this blog will be anywhere close to grammatically correct, or entertaining. It's a natural flow, and my spoken language is terribly incorrect anyway.

I wanted to start this blog for myself, to chronicle my own creative process so I can better understand how I work.

At this point, I have been working on this for a week and a half. I have 8,010 words written, and the work is pretty raw. My goal every day is 1,000 words written. I am out of the house 9 hours a day, 5 days a week (save for occasional corporate holidays), so while I'd like to do more, I find the thousand words to be my maximum. Sometimes it takes me an hour to bust that out. Today it took me four hours... the words just weren't coming.

At this point, I'm focusing on the dialogue mostly, and not so much the action. Dialogue is my strong suit, and I'm very good at writing how peoiple talk (which was hard as hell to develop, I tell you what). But writing action does trip me up. I'm working on getting better... I actually used to be very lyrical when I wrote prose.

So, there we have it. Welcome to The Convergence Project, and I hope fellow writers, fellow developing writers, and their loved ones and admirers will enjoy my blog.